Writing this speech on mental health awareness, stigma and internalized stigma has made me realize just how impacted I am by stigma: a lot of the issues I face today, now that I am reasonably well, are because of what society has inflicted on me.
I have thoughts like “I am a failure” because society tells me that, because I am bipolar, I can be nothing but a failure, even when factual realities indicate otherwise. Society condemns me, calls me “crazy”, stamps a sticker on my head that I am Unwell and will never be Well, and I have accepted this for so long it is integrated as a part of my very personality.
… Awareness is the first step… as aware as I am, as insightful as I am into my illness, I did not know what stigma had done to me.
Now that I do… I am so, very, angry.
“For herself, she wanted sleet and ice, howling winds, thunder to shake the very stones of the Red Keep.
… I am considering opening a small etsy store to sell some of my clothing designs on the side.
Anthony is business savvy (it’s kind of what he does), and he could probably help me work through the details and photograph my pieces.
Everything would be villainspired, of course—all pieces centered around the inspiration of a villain.
I have a full plate with a full time job, one prn job, and full time school, so I don’t have the time to make it a huge endeavor, but I’d like to be making some income off of it, even if just to help to pay for my own fabric expenses.
Which, apparently, I am a beast at mitigating—I spent $90 yesterday, sure, but I SAVED $110. :3
We’ll see. I’m going to start a binder to catalog my designs and titles for them, and see how I feel about listing a few.
I wish I could do a giant store opening with tons of designs offered in different colors, but this will never be my full-time job and I could easily overload myself if too many people order.